THREE CUPS OF TEA - ordinary but extraordinary

A man.

A mountaineer.

An emergency nurse.

An American.

A country called Pakistan.

It was kind of weird , wasn't it.?

To find an American nurse(not a military) , a man in Pakistan. It has nothing to do with  weapons, guns or terror.

Greg Mortenson aka the man, the emergency nurse, the American, have spent about a quarter (if not half) of his life in Pakistan and Afghanistan . He went there since 1993 and now more than a decade has passed, he still found a lot of things to do there.

Who was this guy by the way, and why on earth he liked Pakistan so much.

His love for education brought him, repeatedly to Pakistan and Afghanistan.He built schools, many of them and particularly for girls and women.
Don't you think it's amazing?

He was an ordinary man, love to climb mountain and failed his mission to climb the most challenging mountain in Pakistan but that failure brought him to many successes after that.Not saying he managed to climb more mountains since then but his victory was more precious than that - He got to build many schools for local people.

He had to 'beg" to secure enough fund, he had to sell almost everything to buy the flight tickets, he had to sleep by the streets to ensure the ends met and he lost his girlfriend ...All in the expense to fulfill his promises to Haji Ali at the Korphe village ,  a very remote area in Pakistan (not sure if google earth can locate it).

One school lead to another...He gained more trust , he felt more confident, and the good news spread fast.

He managed to convince the stakeholders in America, yet refused fund from the military.
He was warmly welcomed by the local people but still some of them targeted him as a prey.
He was once detained by Taliban and American soldiers when Sept 11 tragedy made a change in the political landscape globally.
He faced all challenges one can imagine.

Yet he made friends with Shiite and Sunni Muslim alike.And his mission continues until now.

As Muslims, honestly I tried to reserve my 'suspicion" to all the good things American have to say about themselves.Somehow I know he meant good.I did not see any preaching of Christianity along the way and I dont think Pakistanis will easily follow Christian just because one of them made school for their girls.

But....deep in my hearts..how I wish more Muslims will be like him..
Helping others to grasp for education, regardless of the geographical boundaries and political or tribal belief.

Where were  all the mega-rich oil tycoon nearby?
Where were all the Muslim preachers across the globe?

I'm sure money will not be a major problems once you know who to get.
And I'm also sure knowledge is not a problem at all as we have a lot of  scholars in many fields right now.

I really got inspired by his effort.Having to endure long, tireless and challenging journeys just for the sake of empower people particularly girls and women.

And I hope his effort being followed by all of us..Muslims all over the world.

"One Man's Mission to Promote Peace...One School at a Time.."

 Allahu'alam


Ummuzulfa
1 March 2010

SINCE NOVEMBER 2009

My reading pace were quite fluctuating.
Sometime I can read few chapters in a go, other days only managed to complete few pages and in the bad days, none at all.

When I was younger, I can read one book in one setting....I remembered completing Perfect by Judith McNaught in one night ( and I missed the class the next day, so it was not a good example actually).

And I spent one morning after subuh prayer until zuhur reading Ayat-ayat Cinta by Kang Abik few years ago.

I doubt I can get that feeling (and time) to re-do that kind of thing.

Okay...

I would say the end of 2009 particularly for Nov and December was my breastfeeding-reading month.

I completed 3 books on breastfeeding (excluding the curriculum from LLI and other small hand-outs on breastfeeding).

I started with breastfeeding with Confidence by Sue Cox, one of the big name in breastfeeding (I heard she will be coming to Malaysia this year for a conference)  then proceeded to Breastfeeding Naturally before I indulged into a book by Dr Sears , A Breastfeeding book .

 Honestly, most of the book have sort of  similar contents but of course  with different approach.
 Reading is a great way to increase my knowledge on breastfeeding and I don't feel it as a waste of my money spending on those kind of  books.

After 2-3 months spending time  on breastfeeding books, I guess it's about time I moved on to other genre.

I checked my "waiting list"....

So I just realized I have not read
Travelog Haji,
Ke mana duit anda,
Three cups of tea.
and few academic books on yes, breastfeeding still.

I decided to skip the first two in my list and grabbed the third one, Three cups of tea.

Wow..such an inspirational book...( I plan to make a dedicated book review on it, just pray for me yea).

After taking a few days off from a book (but not stop reading ), I started on my next book, Travelog Haji.

Not sure how many days I have to spend on this book , but I guess lesser than the previous one.(I hope Wafa can sleep early so I can read more).

I wish I have more time to read.
I wish I have a courage to start writing too.

Because via reading, you know you have to write something  to make it
more valuable.

Just remember one thing.
Reading is an endless journey ....

So let's read...

Allahu'alam


Ummuzulfa
19 Feb 2010

BERCINTA SAMPAI KE SYURGA - keluargaku, syurgaku..

"Best ke buku cerita ni kak?"

"Ini bukan buku cerita, lebih kurang macam kisah benar lah, cerita pendek-pendek"

"Oh, ye ke...., tajuk dia best"

"penulis ni ada website, ini kira collection artikel dia lah..."

Itu adalah sedutan perbualan pendek saya dengan seorang penumpang komuter beberapa minggu yang lalu.

Saya sedang membaca buku karangan abu saif@Ustaz Hasrizal Abdul Jamil - BERCINTA SAMPAI KE SYURGA, ketika itu.

Saya memang seorang ' follower' website beliau.Hampir kesemua artikel yang ditulis semenjak tahun 2007 sudah saya ikuti di websitenya.





Justeru bila buku pertama beliau - AKU TERIMA NIKAHNYA- berada di pasaran, saya tidak membacanya, saya cuma membelinya untuk suami namun suami pun tak berkesempatan untuk membacanya bila buku yang saya pinjamkan kepada sepupu , langsung tidak nampak kelibatnya selepas itu...



Sakit juga hati ini bila memikirkannya, tapi saya cuba mendidik jiwa untuk bersedekah di celah 'kebengangan' saya itu.

BERCINTA SAMPAI KE SYURGA adalah buku berkaitan dengan kehidupan, untuk setiap fasa kehidupan - remaja, mahasiswa, pra perkahwinan, perkahwinan dan keibu-bapaan.

Setiap artikel yang dimuatkan adalah kisah penulis yang dinukilkan untuk pembaca dengan suntikan-suntikan idea, 'food for thoughts' dan beberapa langkah penyelesaian.

Ia dibahagikan kepada beberapa tajuk besar yang bersesuaian dengan kumpulan artikel-artikel yang dibawahnya.

Sebelum membaca buku ini saya entah mengapa mendapat tanggapan bahawa kebanyakan tulisan di dalam buku ini adalah berkaitan dengan rumahtangga namun setelah membacanya, ternyata tulisan yang secara khususnya berkaitan dengan masalah rumahtangga hanya terdapat di bawah tajuk kembara mawaddah dan rahmah.

Justeru, konsentrasi dan 'passion' saya dengan buku ini agak terlewat tibanya, setelah lebih separuh dari buku itu saya habiskan, namun 'chemistry'nya masih belum tiba.

Namun, nukilan-nukilan terakhir di dalam buku ini sangat memberi makna.
Walaupun ini bukan kali pertama saya membacanya.

Kisah-kisah benar rumahtangga ini banyak memberi aspek lain yang jarang diterokai oleh pemberi motivasi di luar sana.
Abu Saif tidak sewenang-wenangnya menggunakan ayat Al-Quran dan Hadis Rasulullah tanpa terlebih dahulu memberikan 'the bigger picture" perkara-perkara yang ingin diperkatakan.
Kombinasi sunnatullah dan syariatullah yang sering digunapakai oleh penulis di dalam tulisannya memberi nafas baru kepada permasalahan yang lama.




Secara peribadi, sukar untuk saya mencari penulis lelaki (yang bergelar ustaz pula) yang dapat memberikan perbincangan yang seimbang di dalam menangani masalah rumah tangga di zaman serba mencabar ini.
Segilintir ustaz hanya terus mensyarahkan nas-nas yang dibincangkan tanpa mengambil kira realiti sebenar yang banyak berlaku di dalam rumahtangga sekarang.

Apa lagi apabila penceramah hanya tahu menyalahkan kaum perempuan sahaja dan hadis-hadis berkaitan sujud dan taat kepada suami (dan seumpama dengannya) diulang dan ditekankan berkali-kali.
Ceramah atau tulisan seperti itu sukar untuk menembus hati pembaca terutama wanita.

Antara artikel yang memberi kesan kepada saya adalah bagaimana peranan lelaki dibincangkan seumpama imam dengan makmumnya, namun di dalam konteks yang sangat realistik.
Elemen -elemen di dalam konsep "imam dan makmum" seperti berhubung dan tidak mufaraqah, membetul dan dibetulkan, tidak melebihi had laju ada di huraikan dengan baik sekali.

Sekiranya ada para lelaki atau suami yang malas membaca, cukuplah (bagi saya secara peribadi) mereka membaca artikel ini yang hanya 9 mukasurat.
Kandungannya dapat memberi 'overview' kepada para lelaki di dalam memimpin rumahtangga.

Babak-babak akhir di dalam buku ini, agak khusus membicarakan permasalahan rumahtangga sebenar yang berlaku di sekeliling kehidupan penulis.

Ia bukan masalah rumahtangga artis, mereka yang jahil atau mereka yang 'biasa-biasa" tetapi yang berlaku di kalangan penggiat dakwah dan jemaah.

"Mood' di dalam tulisan-tulisan penulis menampakkan kroniknya dan betapa 'risaunya' penulis dengan fenomena ini.

Masakan tidak, sebuah rumahtangga yang dimulakan dengan penuh tertib, di antara 2 hati yang sama fikrah, mengikut syariah dan adat, menjaga batas-batas pergaulan dan perhubungan sebelum nikah, mana mungkin akan berdepan dengan permasalahan dan badai gelora yang boleh membawa kepada penceraian.






Bukankah selalu kita didoktrinkan dengan ungkapan segala sesuatu itu memerlukan permulaan yang baik dan jika inginkan perkahwinan yang diberkati dan berkekalan, maka permulaannya sudah semestinya bersih dari segala unsur-unsur lagha dan tidak islamik?



Jika awalnya sudah molek dan tertib, mengapa masih juga berlaku perhubungan dengan orang ketiga dan penceraian?



Dapatkan Mesej Bergambar di Sini

Adakah dengan keghairahan dan semangat juang yang tinggi, para pendakwah dan penggerak jamaah terlupakan yang mereka masih lagi berkahwin dengan seorang WANITA dan LELAKI yang sudah pastinya mempunyai tuntutan emosi, biologi dan psikologi yang perlu dipenuhi?



Persoalan-persoalan ini ada dikupas oleh penulis, beserta dengan faktor-faktor yang boleh membawa kepada masalah ini dan cara-cara untuk menyelesaikannya.

Persoalan poligami juga ada disentuh di dalam artikel bertajuk "bahagiakan dirimu dengan satu isteri"
Satu perspektif yang menarik yang diterokai oleh penulis - pasti para isteri tersenyum lebar bila membaca artikel ini.

Ada beberapa aspek lagi yang dibincangkan di dalam buku ini yang sangat relevan dijadikan panduan para suami isteri menyemak semula kualiti perkahwinan mereka.

Bagi saya, setiap perkahwinan ada melalui fasa-fasa yang tertentu.

Mungkin bagi yang baru beberapa tahun berkahwin masih lagi wangi dan mekar.

Setelah sepuluh tahun, dengan bilangan anak dan tanggungan yang semakin bertambah, maka proses 'recharge' perlu dilakukan semula untuk menyemarakkan kembali situasi perkahwinan yang mungkin sudah mula pudar dek tekanan persekitaran dan beban tanggungan.
Begitu juga untuk tahun-tahun berikutnya.

Itu adalah tanggungjawab kedua-dua suami dan isteri.


Dapatkan Mesej Bergambar di Sini

Agar rumahtangga dan keluarga yang dibina berkekalan sehingga ke akhir hayat.Bukan sekadar atas nama tanggungjawab semata-mata tanpa cinta , namun yang lebih afdal adalah kasih sayang dan cinta yang menggerakkan tanggungjawab.

Mungkin itulah makna sebenar mawaddah dan rahmah yang sentiasa kita minta setiap kali berdoa.
Mungkin itulah yang kita cari di dalam perkahwinan - RUMAHKU SYURGAKU

Perkahwinan bukan sahaja berkenaan HAK, namun yang lebih penting adalah PERANAN dan TANGGUNGJAWAB.

Bagi saya, sesiapa yang berkesempatan, bacalah buku ini dengan penuh rasa ingin memperbaiki diri, agar kita boleh mengindahkan lagi rumahtangga kita.

Kerana CINTA TANPA TANGGUNGJAWAB ADALAH SIA-SIA
Namun TANGGUNGJAWAB TANPA CINTA ADALAH DERITA DAN SENGSARA.


Allahu'alam


Ummuzulfa
18 June 2009

ASK BROTHER SHAH - frequently asked indeed

"How would you explain the terms 'ISLAM, MUSLIM AND KAFIR"?

TUDUNG - oppressive or Liberating"?




Why did Islam introduce POLYGAMY?"

Do that questions sound familiar?

Of course that are the frequently asked questions by non-Muslim who hardly know Islam by it original sources.

This book was a compilation of the Q and A column of the Criteria by Brother Shah Kirit bin Kakulal Govindji, a Muslim revert who is also a backbone at the Islamic Information & Services Foundation (IIS), closely related to Saba Islamic Media.




The Criteria which was a weekly Muslim view newspaper, once circulated to the community, now is no more in production, due to financial constraint.

Brother Shah, being a revert himself is a correct person to address all the 'in thing questions" by the non- Muslim or newly revert Muslim.

His answers albeit simple and logical, contains the main explanation that can initiate thinking yet still within the context of Quran and hadis.

The first few chapters mainly concentrated on the aqidah and tawheed questions, revolving around the difference of Muslim, kafir, the concept and the justice of god.

The famous questions of course were about women , polygamy and polyandry.
Such a delicate issues were answered with most logical and sensible examples.




Overall, this simple Q and A book is very concise and a good starter book for anyone who want to know more about Islam.

I would say it will be a perfect gift for
our non-Muslim family and friends.

Check it out....


Allahu'alam


Ummuzulfa
7 Jun 2009

A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS - on women, about women

It has been a while since I last reviewed a book.

Not that I stop reading altogether but during my last pregnancy,my passion for books seemed to tide off.

However, I still do my reading....
I will ensure that I read at least most of the articles in Milenia Muslim and Forward, the two magazines that I subscribed every month.

Surprisingly, after I gave birth to Wafa, I managed to finish off 2 books so far...not bad I think, for a full time working mom with 5 daughters to take care and fully breastfeeding still :D

A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS is the second book by Khaled Hosseini,an Afghan-born doctor, who migrated to US in 1980 when Russia invaded Afghanistan.

While The Kite Runner, his first book, told a story about 2 boys from different ranking in the society with a background of civil wars, invasion from the invaders and poverty,among others, his second book took us to understand about the life of women in the Afghan society.

The background of one war after another, invasion and Taliban ruling, however, in my opinion, was more prominent in this book compared to his first.

Maryam and Laila, both from a different family background and from different part of Afghanistan somehow ended up to live under the same roof and shared the same man for a husband.

With a wide generation gap for both of them, they did face many obstacles to make do with whatever they have and their pleasant relationship actually was not preceded with a sweet start.

Their hardship particularly to satisfy the need of the man in their life, taking care of the children and to maintain whatever standard the society had set for women , at last had budded their deep love for each other.

The strong emotional bonding between them made their life meaningful despite all the hardships, sometimes beyond word description.

They sacrificed their need for each other's happiness.
They depended on each other for personal strenght and inspiration.They have their own definition of happiness.

They were the strong women, the icon of all oppressed women throughout the world.

I was very disturbed to read how domestic violence was still very rampant in many Muslim- majority countries.

The discrimination against women is very loud in this story.

It did give a very bad impression on Islam.

No wonder how Yvonne Ridley, a British journalist willing to put her self to danger just to expose the mistreatment of women in Afghanistan under the Taliban ruling.

Alhamdulillah, her journery has brought her to Islam.

Yvonne Ridley

Eventhough I am fully aware that the reasons behind it are purely cultural, but to some extent, some ignorant people will indirectly relate Islam to that kind of actions.

It also made me realized that MANY people men and women alike, are still very ignorant on the attitude of our beloved Prophet towards others especially, how husbands , fathers, brothers should treat their wives, daughters and sisters.

Part of the story also revealed the sufferings of the weakest people towards the war that seemed non-stop as time immemorial.

And of course women and children were the ones who badly affected.

The sufferings were well written, in my humble opinion.Not only once that I loathed the ego of their Mujahidin leaders or Taliban important people who somehow succeded to make many women suffered.

But along the way, I have to remind myself that I cannot pass judgement just based on one storybook.

Those story of pains and sufferings of Afghans due to many wars they were facing,sometimes (well, most of the times) left me wondering how the people of Palestine survived their day-today uncertainties and fear,

The other thing that puzzled me (to some extent) was how the 'zina' was quite easily going and was written without many 'religious input' to it (if you know what I mean).Well, anyway it was not a religous story book to start with.

In fact, Maryam is a 'harami' and Laila also had her first child out of her 'off-marriage' relationship with her boyfriend.

How I wish that these cases (if we can call them that) occurred only in isolation.

The 'non-logical' rules generated by the Talibans was told quite generously.

However, I cannot judge the Taliban ruling based on this one story.

I think it is a high time for me to get myself a book by Yvonne Ridley with as second opinion or likewise.

This book also surprised me as I encountered two words that have similar meanings with Malay words.

First, was almari mentioned in a conversation between Laila and Maryam, when Maryam asked Laila to put the clothings inside the almari, so I guess almari in the Afghan languange (not sure it's Pashtun or something else) bears similar meaning in almari in Malay languange

Second, was pahlawan, when their husband proudly called his son with Laila as pahlawan.Again, i guess the meaning cannot be very far from the Malay pahlawan.

At first, I thought this book could not beat his debut book, but as the story grows, the feelings and emotions started to emerge and the plots and storyline actually are stronger than the Kite Runner.

Having said that, however, every time I encountered Khaled Hosseini's name, I always relate him with his first novel as that novel did give impact on myself.

Yeah, I guess the first encounter gave the most memorable impression in my memory.

Overall, I have mixed feeling after completed reading this book.How I wish women were treated the way they deserve, and how men should realized the heavy burden they were facing in their relationship with women in their life.

Above all, how I wish, Islam could be potrayed the way it should be.

Lastly, I am not a professional critic and reviewer, but, if you are a novel-lover try to get this book and judge it for yourself.


Allahu'alam

Ummuzulfa
23 April 2009

THE KITE RUNNER - my point of view

I first came across this title when I read my friend's blog. Knowing my friend, who has similar interest as mine, I know someday I should get the book.Day after day, I have been procastinating to get the book until I searched in ebay.com.my, not expecting to find anything though.

TO my surprised, one chinese lady offered it for RM16. I knew it was a good bargain after I compared the price in mphonline.

So after few days, the book reached me via registered mail and that really made up my day.For the book-lover, I'm sure you'll understand the feeling get the new books...something inside you really glows with every page of the book...I hope you get what I mean.

I started reading it after I finished reading "You can be the happiest women in the world" by Dr 'Aid Al-Qarni. I have this habit of reading my books in sequence, just to make sure I read what I suppose to read :D

I knew this title become the bestseller in some countries and I am proud to find a Muslim author is in the same line with the other famous authors... and of course I love to know about the story.

The story is actually revolved around few characters with the background of Afghanistan, Amir, the narrator, Hassan, his servant cum his long-unknown illegitimate half -brother and Baba, Amir's father.Few minor plots albeit play significant impact like Rahim Khan and Ali are also worth mentioning

I don't know much about Afghanistan , honestly except America invasion, Taliban and Osama ben Laden, just to mention a few essential history-marking events.

The author beautifully described the living in Kabul back in 1960s and 70s, many years before the giant power at that time, Russia decided to invade Afghanistan. Every details of corners, greenies,mountains and hills were so real and the activities were told to signify how close they were to the heart of the author, I would say.

This story covered Amir's life journey since childhood until well into his adult life, his secrets, his guilt and how he rediscovered himself.

I can tell that the author was actually telling his own experience and hope, eventhough I'm sure that many fiction events also took place in every pages. Somehow, something that came out from the writer's heart can touch the reader's inner being.

With my near-nil experience about history let alone Afghanistan historical background, I have to accept the people life style as the author faithfully described in the book.Probably that is the bitter reality that everybody needs to discover.

Baba, described as a great man, kind and full of compassion.Helping the poor, stood up for other people rights and never gave up in life.A man with honour, one would call it. But somehow, he was also described as a non- practising Muslim, drank liqour, never pray and probably not believe in God, eventhough he still paid for the religious scholar, mullah, as they called them back in Afghanistan to teach Amir.

I know, it's not fair for me to be judgemental but I cannot help myself from wondering, why such character almost always popped up in the fiction stories particularly when it comes to Muslim community.

On the contrary, the so-called the religion authority, the one who should be the saviour of other people, for the poor and the needy, the one who should be protective and kind and understanding were potrayed as very cruel, sinners and surrounded by huge arrogance.

I'm sure people like that do exist and Afghanistan is no-exception, but why it's alway have to be like that? Isn't it the vice versa situation is also true.?

Well, who am I to question that anyway?

Was Taliban really that bad, as clearly told in the book?

I don't have the answer and I am not sure whether this book can give me the answer also.

Probably I should get the book by Yvonne Ridley. "In the hands of Taliban", her true experience being a captive to the Taliban regime.

I can sense that the author want to share with the world abouth the real Afghanistan, at least from his perspective, an Afghani who has resided in US for more than 2 decades.

Deep in my heart, I pray that the author and many more Muslims around the world, especially in the West have a pride being a practising Muslim, however odd the situation will be.

Exploring this book also make me thinking alone, are many of the Muslim expatriate from Middle East who had resided in the West really had very bad experience in their country until it's hard for them to express the good side of Muslim in the country?

I cannot judge how different or how Western they have become. That question is theirs to answer.

Overall, this book can make you think again for your past life, re-look into things that have occurred to you and how to rediscover yourself.

I would recommend you to read it....the cry of an Afghani boy who was struggling to find his true self....

And I am looking forward to read his second novel...